with women, on the other hand, a natural trust is there, that we are speaking because we are genuinely interested in each other as people. the vast majority of women i have met thus far have been incredibly sweet and supportive. the compliments i still remember are the ones that came from women, who in their warmth and enthusiasm, encouraged me to continue. the small amount of tango wisdom i have acquired were given me by the generosity and honesty of these women, the ones i have met in person, and the ones i have yet to meet, such as yourself.

i am thankful for the fabulous women of tango. besos-*

I had read this post earlier this morning, and couldn’t react to it immediately, as the day at the office was hectic. Somehow, that allowed it to “simmer” in my mind, making me think deeply of my own relationship with other women in Tango.

First, I have to say that you made me smile when forcing us to admit that we compare ourselves against other women. Of course we do. I wouldn’t say this is necessarily done in a nasty way–but i certainly takes place, even if unconsciously. It’s, I think, very similar to the female unconscious tendency to compare outfits at a party!!
Second, I’ve realized that my own relationship with Tango women is somewhat “dual”. On the one side, I have *my* dear Tango-friends, who I admire and compliment all the time. I’m always happy to see them grow, and we are very supportive of each other, and we bond when the follower/leader ratios at the milonga don’t help much and we find each other seating more frequently… On the other, there are the other women, with who I don’t talk that much. While I may actually sympathize with them from afar, I realize I sometimes fail to make an effort to socialize much with them, and get to know them. And you know, it’s funny what I’ve encountered when I’ve made the effort to approach them with a smile: many of them have actually said really generous things about my dancing, which I didn’t expect. And I was happy to be able to oblige in return. When it’s happened, it’s serve me as a good reminder that sometimes it’s just about opening doors. Sure enough, there may be cases in which we will be disappointed, but many others, we won’t.
Finally, I wanted to retake Johanna’s point on the fact that “no one can dance tango like another person”. I agree. As someone told me once, “Bailas como sos” (You dance who you are)–one can try and try to imitate, copy-cat others, but it’ll always be that person spirit that will come out in the manner they dance Tango. Their fears and their certainties, the fake and the genuine… So yeah. As you say, let’s just forget about the threats and just cherish what we can learn from others and be happy with who we are, dancing our hearts out

I loved this post, and also the one who inspired it. Now another lovely blog to while away the hours with.

I’m glad you have the opportunity to mix and mingle with your fellow followers. To have a supportive community of people like yourself can add to the already heightened experiences we have while dancing. It was what inspired me a while back to write my post, Sisters of the Spirit.

But you’re right, it is hard to spend quality time when when we’re at a milonga, our foremost desire is to dance. How lovely that you’re receiving compliments. Doesn’t that feel nice?! I remember the first time another woman paid me a compliment. She was so genuine and enthusiastic…you could have knocked me over with a feather. But it made me feel fantastic.

Tango is so personal, it is natural that we become very protective of “our” tango. Which is why it raises so much arguing about what it is and isn’t. It is different for everyone.

But no one can dance tango like any other person. We all feel it, hear it, interpret it differently. Our bodies are different. I have always compared it to Shakespeare’s Hamlet. Actors have been interpreting this character for 400 years using the exact same words, and still, no two are the same.

Thus it is with Tango, and it’s infinite combinations. Even if now and then you acquire someone else’s embellishments, you’ll also be an inspiration to someone else.