Embracing the person

For about a month after my lesson with Javier, I was feeling slightly rebellious against what he had taught me about my embrace.  Later I realized that I have been enjoying Tango more than ever, and it’s because I’ve been unconsciously doing everything that he told me.  Ha!  That guy’s good.

I have attended two milongas in Seattle so far.  At both, I consciously applied his philosophy to the way I embraced the tangueros of Seattle, which was to embrace the person - embrace who the person is.  Really HUG them.  With love.  Real love.  Just completely surrender and give myself, my heart to them, no questions asked.  I haven’t always done that… I’ve chased the ghost but sometimes have forgotten to simply love the person in my arms.  Truly love them.

I wasn’t sure what the reaction would be - I didn’t know if the guys here would be able to handle this chica coming up from South America and throwing her arms around them with complete surrender.  But you know what?  It worked out beautifully!  Each time, I felt the embrace and the warmth returned to me, equally.  I really, truly felt, with each dance, that I was sharing something special with the man in my arms.

Last year when I returned to Seattle from Buenos Aires I was kind of bummed out about the tango up north.  The warmth of the embrace just wasn’t there.  I’ve read numerous accounts of women going back to their hometowns from Buenos Aires and not quite feeling the same about tango.  I totally understand them - it’s not the same anywhere as it is in Buenos Aires.  That’s just not possible.  But one thing I hear - and something  I myself have said in the past -is that the embrace is colder outside of Buenos Aires.  But if that’s the case, then why has the embrace been so warm for me these past couple of days?

Do you suppose that we, upon returning from BsAs, are partly responsible and could stand to give more warmth to the guys up north, thus enabling them to open themselves up to us?  Because that’s what I think has happened with me.   For the first time on Seattle soil, I have just abandoned all expectations, all hesitation, all of my “oh I’m not in Buenos Aires so it’s going to suck” feelings, and really focused on the human being I was dancing with.

I said to myself, “Right now I’m dancing with XYZ.  I’m going to embrace him and all that I love about him.  I’m going to embrace our friendship as we dance, and think about all of the things we have shared these past few years.  I’m going to dance the love that I feel for him as a friend.  I’m going to hug him good.”

I hugged the heck out of him and he gave right back.  100%.  In a way that I have never experienced with him before.

And it happened this way with each man.  And each time I really focused on who the person was, what we had shared, how much I loved him in that moment right there.  And of course, because this is me, each time I made sure to give a little bit of my Buenos Aires to the embrace as well - there has been so much beauty (and ugliness) and magic in my life in Argentina and I hope I was able to share that with each man I danced with.  And they were all open to it.

I wonder what that’s about?  Did I just get lucky? Or do you think perhaps that we could stand to give ourselves just a little bit more?  Not always easy to do in this culture is it?

When I was first beginning five years ago, my friend Lachlan said, “Tina, tango is basically a big hug.”  So, upon hearing that, I gave him a big bear hug right there on the dance floor, and from that moment, our dance worked like magic.

Embrace = Hug