Comments on: Thoughts on the Cabeceo http://tinatangos.com/blog/etiquette-at-milongas/thoughts-on-the-cabeceo/ Mon, 01 Dec 2008 19:05:44 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5 By: kjartango http://tinatangos.com/blog/etiquette-at-milongas/thoughts-on-the-cabeceo/#comment-1552 kjartango Sat, 11 Oct 2008 22:58:26 +0000 http://tinatangos.wordpress.com/2007/08/29/thoughts-on-the-cabeceo/#comment-1552 I beg to differ, though. When you are invited, and don't want to dance, be clear about it. Nothing is more frustrating than not knowing whether you were rejected, or whether your invitation was just not recognized. With a rejection, I can move on. With the uncertainty, I will invite again. And again. Until I'm afraid of being foolish, and stop, still wondering whether she actually saw me or not. I beg to differ, though. When you are invited, and don’t want to dance, be clear about it. Nothing is more frustrating than not knowing whether you were rejected, or whether your invitation was just not recognized.

With a rejection, I can move on. With the uncertainty, I will invite again. And again. Until I’m afraid of being foolish, and stop, still wondering whether she actually saw me or not.

]]> By: tanguillo http://tinatangos.com/blog/etiquette-at-milongas/thoughts-on-the-cabeceo/#comment-327 tanguillo Thu, 30 Aug 2007 12:25:02 +0000 http://tinatangos.wordpress.com/2007/08/29/thoughts-on-the-cabeceo/#comment-327 Sorin, there is an important difference between being reject when you ask or when you do the cabeceo: Others peoples look (and that's really care, at least here). In the cabeceo, usually only you and the woman will know about the rejection. When you ask and have to return to your table after a no, well it's not very nice. Besos Tina! Sorin, there is an important difference between being reject when you ask or when you do the cabeceo: Others peoples look (and that’s really care, at least here). In the cabeceo, usually only you and the woman will know about the rejection. When you ask and have to return to your table after a no, well it’s not very nice.
Besos Tina!

]]> By: tangospeak http://tinatangos.com/blog/etiquette-at-milongas/thoughts-on-the-cabeceo/#comment-326 tangospeak Wed, 29 Aug 2007 20:16:34 +0000 http://tinatangos.wordpress.com/2007/08/29/thoughts-on-the-cabeceo/#comment-326 That happened last night - a guy was looking at me and beckoning with a nod of his head to the floor. The woman in front of me jumped up and ran over to him. He had to explain to her that he meant to invite me and she looked so mortified as she slunk back to her chair. But at least the guy was nice enough to tell her that he will come back for her after and he did. That happened last night - a guy was looking at me and beckoning with a nod of his head to the floor. The woman in front of me jumped up and ran over to him. He had to explain to her that he meant to invite me and she looked so mortified as she slunk back to her chair. But at least the guy was nice enough to tell her that he will come back for her after and he did.

]]> By: tinatangos http://tinatangos.com/blog/etiquette-at-milongas/thoughts-on-the-cabeceo/#comment-325 tinatangos Wed, 29 Aug 2007 17:48:51 +0000 http://tinatangos.wordpress.com/2007/08/29/thoughts-on-the-cabeceo/#comment-325 Hi Sorin! I wouldn't call it less disappointing as much as I'd call it less awkward. :-) Y'know what I find awkward is when I'm not sure who the guy is looking at - me or the girl next to me? I once had that happen in Buenos Aires where I thought I'd just been invited, but in actuality it was the girl sitting behind me. I'm so glad to this day that I remained glued to my chair, thus avoiding a really embarrassing moment. Hi Sorin!

I wouldn’t call it less disappointing as much as I’d call it less awkward. :-)
Y’know what I find awkward is when I’m not sure who the guy is looking at - me or the girl next to me? I once had that happen in Buenos Aires where I thought I’d just been invited, but in actuality it was the girl sitting behind me. I’m so glad to this day that I remained glued to my chair, thus avoiding a really embarrassing moment.

]]> By: Sorin http://tinatangos.com/blog/etiquette-at-milongas/thoughts-on-the-cabeceo/#comment-324 Sorin Wed, 29 Aug 2007 17:40:42 +0000 http://tinatangos.wordpress.com/2007/08/29/thoughts-on-the-cabeceo/#comment-324 I never quite understood the claim that a rejection (when asking someone to dance) is somehow less disappointing when using cabeceo then when asking in person. I do prefer when cabeceo is used, as it may avoid an embarrassing moment, but a rejection is a rejection and is disappointing no matter what. Not to mention there is always the incertitude about whether your invite was actually seen and declined or not seen at all. I never quite understood the claim that a rejection (when asking someone to dance) is somehow less disappointing when using cabeceo then when asking in person. I do prefer when cabeceo is used, as it may avoid an embarrassing moment, but a rejection is a rejection and is disappointing no matter what. Not to mention there is always the incertitude about whether your invite was actually seen and declined or not seen at all.

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