Probably not the best way to invite a woman to dance.

I don’t dance Tango on Fridays because the one regular Friday milonga there is, I’m just not “into”, and it’s a bit far away for a milonguera without a car. Too bad because I was really needing some Tango last night.

In any event, two of my friends (Gregory and Allison) and I decided to go instead to the Pampas Room, where there was a fun band, playing sort of a combination of blues, swing, etc. Really nice.

At one point, the three of us were sitting at our table, enjoying the band’s last number of the night, watching people dance. All of a sudden I realized that someone had grabbed my hand. Huh? I looked up and there was a man who clearly wanted to dance. He did not ask, he just came from behind and grabbed my hand.

I don’t like being taken by surprise, so I smiled and said, “No thank you.” His response, was to YANK my arm and try to FORCE me to get up and go with him to the dance floor. So I said, “No” more firmly and tried to loosen my hand from his grip. He then pulled harder with determination. I did not like this. I looked him square in the eye and said, loud and clear, “NO!” He finally gave up and walked away. Sheesh.

My friends and I looked at each other, speechless. I felt sort of violated. Gregory, whose male opinion I respect, was in agreement with me that this is perhaps not a nice way to ask a woman to dance, and that my response was appropriate.

My arm is okay, but I’m pretty sure that this sort of behavior is not favored by most women in any sort of dance environment.