A friendly note to the men… (or, “don’t worry, I’m really a nice person!”)

Hi guys.  A few of my posts on etiquette, I realize, might make me appear like a mean woman who thinks she is above the men at the milongas - I assure you all that this is not the case.  (Ask Miss Tango, she knows me!)  This blog is for my venting purposes, and I want to make sure that this is clear. 

I think - actually, I know - that most of the men who go to social dances are people who simply want to dance.  (And that is the purpose of going to a milonga, right?  To dance?)
Most guys I see at the milongas are beautifully sensitive and just great and I don’t talk about them enough on here.  When I complain about babysitters or critics or whatever, I’m complaining about the small percentage of guys who either don’t “get it” or, who mean well but don’t realize how they come across - this blog is my forum to do so. 

I think it’s important to express my viewpoints, however controversial they may be to the average sensitive tanguero, because though Tango is meant to be social, women are also meant to be respected.  And I’ve seen my share of situations (not necessarily my own experiences) in which this has not happened.  What I really want as a woman, is a little sensitivity.  If I don’t get that sensitivity, it ruffles my feathers (which I then write about in my blog).

As Boris said in a comment, Tango is a social dance.  And I agree that it’s important to keep that enjoyable quality.  But for that to happen, a woman should be able to turn down who she wants to, and not be chastised or babysat for it.   Yes, the woman should be friendly and respectful when saying “no” to a dance, but the man, as I’ve said, needs to accept that refusal, however it is expressed, and move on.  As Tanguera said, it’s a delicate balance.  Yes, it absolutely is.  The bottomline here I think is respect. 

To quote Cacho Dante:

 ”Guys, to dance Tango, you must listen to the heart of the woman.”