Heard in Italy

“Oh Tina, you silly girl,” everybody at the table says, laughing, “that’s so cute that you think the common cold is caused by a (chuckle) virus. Ha ha ha ha ha. Everybody knows that you catch a cold from the cold! Ha ha ha ha ha! Virus!  Oh Tina, you are too much.”

“Oh Tina, you silly girl,” everybody at the table says, laughing, “that’s so cute that you think it doesn’t matter if you go outside right after you eat.  Chuckle chuckle, ha ha ha ha ha.  Everybody knows that if you go outside after a meal you get la congestione!”*

Six months later…. I’m on an air-conditioned shuttle bus, covering myself with a shawl, with a tummy ache, and frantically text-messaging a friend, “I ate lunch and then walked and then sat next to the air conditioning!  I think I have la congestione!”

*La congestione: an Italian phenomenon that takes place if you don’t allow for digestion to fully take place after you eat and go be where it’s cold, or go swimming, go where you might sweat from heat and make yourself cold, or really any sort of environment that has anything to do with being cold.  Apparently, it messes everything up as when you digest all your blood is concentrated on your digestive system.  When you go into a cold environment the blood distributes to the rest of your body to keep you warm and digestion is blocked.  Which is why you should always wear a scarf!  (…and you thought it was just for fashion didn’t you!)  As a bonus, you could also get the influenza (not to be confused with the common flu), which is an Italian flu-like phenomenon that lasts exactly two days.  Remember, cold is evil!