Why is it that younger dancers in Buenos Aires don’t invite me to dance very much?  They have no problem asking my friend, who is almost my same age, quite slender, a little more casual in dress, and I think younger looking.  But they seem to avoid me like the plague.  Not all of them, of course - but it does seem to be a trend.  I also notice that the men I dance with are usually older than I am.  Sometimes just 5 years older, sometimes a few decades older.  Men.

So what are the young guys afraid of?  Am I too milonguera for them?  Too dressed up?  Too curvy?  Can they not handle a woman?  Or maybe they just haven’t really thought to invite me.  Who knows.

I never really have problems getting dances at milongas so I don’t necessarily feel pain at not dancing with the younger guys, but I do find it very interesting in general and I wanted to put it out there to see what you all might have to say.

I can’t change who I am, I’ll always stand tall and my body will always be the way it is, and I’ll always wear make-up and dress up for Tango.  It’s what I like to do.  And I celebrate the fact that men with life experience and lots of stories enjoy having me in their arms.

I was going to have a second lesson with Javier and Andrea because I enjoyed them so much as people, and I felt like I got something out of the previous lesson, but I’ve decided to cancel it.

Not only is it quite a lot of money for me, but last week’s lesson got me stressing out about my embrace a little bit, and after getting a good lecture from an old milonguero friend, Pedro, about just being myself and being happy with my dancing the way it is, I realized that I do like my embrace the way it is, and I do like my dancing the way it is.

I’ve already found Tina. I just want to dance Tina. And I like my embrace - I meet the right guy on the dance floor and it fits - it just works. The embrace that Javier shared with me doesn’t really work with most of the men I love to dance with. It has made it much easier to dance with certain men I know in milongas, and I am grateful for that, but really, I like the way I embrace in general. I’m gonna be Tina.  Which is what I think Javier was trying to get at in the lesson, even if he did give me something different to work with.  Same message.

I don’t want to “improve” or be “better” or “good” at Tango. I want to be “Tina” at Tango. It’s not about competition, or improvement or progress - it’s about expressing yourself. I think I express myself just fine. Will I want a lesson in the future? Maybe - I’m not an absolutist, and Julio and Corina will be in Seattle in July while I am briefly there which is tough to say no to ;-). For now I’m going to really enjoy just being Tina in the dance, and I’m going to enjoy loving Tango.

I should note, to Javier’s credit, that the lesson was more centered around my attitude and self-confidence (read: body confidence) in the dance than it was about technique, and he too said that he like to see more Tina in the dance. Then again, he doesn’t know me the way the guys in the milongas do. We’ve never danced together socially. And I was also nervous to dance with Javier. I already am Tina in the dance. As I said, maybe that’s what he wanted me to realize in the lesson - that I’ve just got to be myself.

I’m going to recommend them as teachers to anyone who is curious. They really are great. I’m just at a time in my life where lessons kind of mess up my dancing. That’s because of where I am emotionally, mentally, spiritually, etc. I’m going through a natural evolution. My life experience is what affects my Tango right now.

Here I am! It’s been a great week, as my friend from Le Chemin du Tango has been assisting me in conquering the milongas of Buenos Aires. We’ve gone to Canning last Monday (loved it), Nino Bien last Thursday, La Baldosa with her Italian friend to see Julio and Corina perform on Friday, and that same night we continued to La Viruta, which I ended up really, really liking, particularly because I got to dance Chacarera and also because it has “The Ghost” in a very unexpected way, Maipu 444 on Saturday followed by a smaller milonga somewhere in San Telmo. Sunday I was at Porteño y Bailarin with other friends.

I exhausted myself. I could never live like that long-term, but when a cool chica is in town, it means we get to be each other’s company at milongas and become friends, and that is something to be savored. So bring on the sore feet!

I finally finished the monster project. I’m taking the rest of the week off with no work.

And the BIG news is…

I have changed my ticket and will remain in Buenos Aires until April 26th. Yup, I’m staying a bit longer. I have found a room in a beautiful home and I will move in this Friday.

My Italy ticket (I was supposed to go to Italy in April), will be pushed back a few months so I can have a Seattle summer (Seattle summers are very special), and then in September I want to MOVE back to Italy, like I was supposed to do in the first place. !! It will be such a luxury to work in the same time zone as my clients.

So that’s me, the jet-setting gypsy soul who lives between countries.

I love when a man takes me into his arms on the dance floor and all I have to do is get all comfy and cozy and close my eyes and purr (on the inside).  Love it.

Last night’s fun time at Niño Bien made up for the slippery floor at Chique.   I had such a good time that I went to bed thinking, “I can’t go back to Seattle.”

“Tanto Tiempo!” is a recurring phrase with people who know me here. “It’s been so long!” Has it? I understand it’s been 10 or 11 months since I left, but to me it feels as though I just saw these people last week. I’m in a bit of a twilight zone here when it comes to sense of time, I suppose.

I’m thankful for the weather. I need this. When winter reaches its peak, I turn into a grumpy girl who pouts. Now that I’m in summer, I feel myself relaxing, my shoulders lowering, my health improving, my smile widening. All in just a couple of days time.

I’ve already had some helado - as someone who has lived in Italy, I can really appreciate the ice cream here, perhaps in a way no one else can. Here, the same recipe is used as in Italy, but the milk of course is different and so the ice cream comes out a little differently. I can’t explain what the difference is, it just is. Miss Tango and I have talked before about what’s better, Italian or Argentine ice cream, and of course she’ll tell you Argentina does it best while I like to stick up for Italy. This means that perhaps the ice cream in a place is an indicator of where one’s soul feels the most at home. It also means that I’ll have to spend extensive time in both Italy and Argentina for the next few years, in order to make a truly educated guess. To be fair, you know.
Last night I should have been working but my dancers feet got the better of me and I went to El Beso. I got there at about midnight. It was packed, and hard to get a seat. While I was waiting, a friend, A, from Seattle spotted me and came up to me. He lives in Buenos Aires half the year so I was not surprised to see him. We danced the milonga set that was playing and I went back to where I was waiting. The hostess, ever so kind and gracious, did her best to squeeze me into someone’s table. The free spot was not in the best location, but I didn’t care. I was happy to be able to sit down and observe. She told me that she wanted to try to find me a better seat and that she’d come get me if she did. There were plenty of men who didn’t have seats yet who were nearby, and since we were in each other’s line of vision, that’s who I danced with. So many nice people. These men really love to dance.

Finally at about 1:30 or so things started to clear up, and A. gave me his table as he was leaving, and it was in the perfect spot to see and be seen. It was in a spot that’s sort of between the men and the women, so instead of his chair, I took the far one that was next to some women, so I wouldn’t stand out too much. That’s when I had my best dances of the evening. Each man I danced with (with one exception) protected me in his arms. So nice. Each man danced in his own way. And because the dancers here are so much more vulnerable to you, and allow you to feel so much more vulnerable to them, it felt as though… hm, maybe as though they were sharing a part of their soul with me… no. that’s not it. I can’t explain it. But I could get a good idea of who each man was. These are not highly technical dancers - these are people who love music and love Tango and love to have a woman in their arms. I didn’t once feel in danger of being bumped into, the crowd moved so smoothly on the floor, respectful of each other’s space, not dancing too big. Sure, a few times I would feel other dancers brush past us or a light bump, but that’s different. I love the navigation here. Sigh…

I only turned down two men. One who went straight to my table, got in my face and asked me to dance. He was Argentine. I said no. He knew better, and I knew that. I’d seen him cabeceo-ing others. Why should I be any different. He began to ask why not, etc., and I just ignored him. He finally went away. The other guy I didn’t like was an older man who seemed to be hailing me down like a taxi. He kept pointing at me and motioning for me to come over to him. Whatever that was about. I don’t think so.

I didn’t want to go home until I had my “ok, I can go home now” dance… and I finally did, with a charming man who had an embrace that was just perfect. What is it with the men down there, why do I like dancing with them so much? I’ve tried to elaborate on it before in this blog, but words are useless. There is no way to describe what it is about dancing with them. It’s just…

Once I had my Tango high, (siiiiiiigh….), my huge grin and I went home. I translated a little bit until my Tango high calmed down (trying to sleep while on a Tango high is useless), and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Will I dance tonight? Not sure. From the way people were talking last night, I guess Canning is now the good place for Monday nights. I would never have guessed. I’ve never had a good time at Canning. But, milongas change. I don’t know, we’ll see. I’m kind of a Gricel person so it’s hard to change my ways. I won’t make any plans until later. And maybe I won’t dance. We’ll see.

What’s in store for me today? I’ll get some work done, eat some fresh figs I just bought (figs!! I love summer!), get a cell phone, and who knows what else. I love this place.

Went to my happy milonga. Was glad I did.

I’ve felt slightly “off” in my dance lately, and I chocked it up to being impatient to start my trip - but my happy milonga solved everything. It is at this milonga that my Tango always comes back. The rhythm always finds me. And it did. Thank goodness. Just in time for Buenos Aires.

I’m probably not going to write much until I get there, as I have a huge project to do for work that I’m a “little” stressed out about, plus I have to pack, clean my place for my sub-letter, AND boohoo, my roommate is very sick, so I have to do all of this while avoiding her germs. I feel a cough coming along and I am not cheerful about it. It’s not going to be the most fun or relaxing week. If you know me and I’m grumpy towards you, well, just deal with it. I’m almost on my trip so you won’t have to put up with me for very long.

I am counting the minutes until I get to Buenos Aires.

I’ll write from there…

Her name is Adriana Dure. I think I have a crush on her feet. So smooth, so simple, so sharp, so…. !!! - And her handsome leader is Claudio Strang.

I leave three weeks from today. THREE WEEKS!

And I am not even ready. I haven’t even thought about the getting ready part! I just keep thinking it’s so far away. I need to get all of my things in order. I need to pack (that will wait until the last few days before I go - hey, last time, I had JUST moved from Italy and only had three days before going to Argentina, and I managed to successfully pack)… I need to clean up my things and store them. I need to find a subletter!! My cousin needs a new place from what I hear and I might see if I can strike a deal with him, as he’d like it here and it would give him a good base from which to look at apartments, etc. I have to bug my landlord about the exact rules on subletting so I can play by the book. I’ve been trying to get an answer for a week now, and she is waiting to hear from the owners/management company on what exactly my options are. Man, I need to know now!  It’s allowed but I need to know the formalities.

I just realized that since I no longer have an amor waiting for me en el Sur, I have to contact the agency where I got my apartment in BsAs and organize airport pick-up. I get there on a Saturday morning. I already see myself taking a good long nap and then getting up to go dancing. Because I’m like that.

What else… I have no idea. I have to clean my room. This cold really knocked me on my ass and so I have clothes piled up that haven’t been folded, towels & sheets to go in the wash. I need to vacuum.

My roommate knitted me a scarf and left it outside my bedroom door last night. Isn’t that sweet? I’m so touched. I have three more weeks in which to wear it.

AND THEN I’M GOING TO BUENOS AIRES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tonight is the really nice once-a-month milonga at the Century Ballroom. If you are in Seattle and read this and have not gone to that milonga, please go. It’s really great. And you can drink Chandon.

Oh, last night I met a nice older man at the practica (I was feeling better so decided to go dancing). I had never seen him before. The girl that organizes the practica told me that he had just moved back to Seattle after a long time away, and that he had learned tango in Buenos Aires. Cool! She suggested that I talk to him.

So I sat down with him, and he was very nice. If I remember our conversation correctly, he has never seen Tango outside of Buenos Aires. So he was a little culture-shocked at how people were dancing - certainly not in a bad way, just in a “hmmmm this is really different!” way. He enjoyed himself, and plans to come to more milongas. We danced, and while he said a few times that he was very nervous, it was nice, and I thought it was cool to see that he had that embrace and that walk. He definitely learned in Buenos Aires. I looked in the mirror as we were passing it, and it looked like I was dancing with an old milonguero. Too cool! A preview for what is to come. It turns out that he misses it so much and likes it so much that he’s about to go back down to Buenos Aires for a couple of months, and plans to keep learning. We compared notes on milongas, we like a lot of the same ones, so it will be fun if I run into him down there. It’s always nice to welcome newcomers to the Seattle scene - and this one was certainly unique!

Judith had this posted on her blog, and I couldn’t resist giving it a mention here. It’s a tad dramatic, but Monica Bellucci is gorgeous, no? She’s from Città di Castello, which is not too far from Perugia, where I lived.

After further investigation I found that it’s from a short interactive film called HeartTango, directed by Gabriele Muccino - and it is advertising lingerie for Intimissimi.

[youtube=[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6j6uOyvBp0]

The question is, if I buy one of their bras, will it make me dance tango like that?

Julio and Corina. There is nothing like them.

[youtube=[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=cuu8VFVVvA4]

(LuganoTango - lacasadeltango.ch - has other videos posted here.)