My dear friend at Tangospeak forwarded this to me after someone had shared it with her, and I just couldn’t resist posting it. Isn’t it cute??

(more on this youtube channel).

A friend who dances more “nuevo” said something over lunch that kinda sorta rubbed me the wrong way a few weeks ago - he apparently finds the “milonguero style” to be the “easiest” because, according to him it has “no technique”. Hum. Well, if that were the case then I think a bunch of us would have been the hottest milongueras in town after our first tango class! Easy, I don’t really think so. It’s over five years that I’ve been dancing and I’m still discovering so much in the realm of the milongueros.

I didn’t say much but I wish I could have told him that no, it is not the easiest, and that is because in my humble but strong opinion it goes beyond technique. I believe (from first-hand personal experience) that when you dance with a milonguero you are not merely dancing steps or patterns and you’re certainly not twisting your shoulders or hips exactly three-point-five degrees this way to execute the perfect ocho; no, no, no… when you dance with a milonguero you are entering into his entire musical world, as the following article will tell you.

And to me, that’s complex and simple at the same time. And beautiful. It goes beyond the merely physical-technical aspect of tango. It’s not a case of being “easy” or “hard”. It just is what it is.

And I think I have found somebody who might understand…her lovely article is here.

(And anyway… 

...people don’t get the best tables at milongas from having “no technique”!)

(So there!)

Hey cool, I get to be in DiosTango magazine this month, along with fellow blogger Cherie, in some pictures that were taken at the opening night of the new milonga, Asi se baila el Tango (Thursdays, Peru 571, 8pm to 1am)…

The images can be found on Cherie’s blog.

I set off on a new adventure while in Cachirulo on Saturday, opting to dance to “Cafe Dominguez” with someone I had never danced with before.  That’s tough for me to do, when it comes to D’Agostino, especially Cafe Dominguez.  Not just anybody can dance to that.  Not with me.  But, I really really really really really wanted to dance.  So I accepted his “cabeceo” from across the room.

As I embraced him and he embraced me and the music moved us, I found myself grinning, ear to ear… I opened my eyes for a bit and looked over at the two ladies I get to sit next to at the milonga now… I thought about how much fun I was having on this beautiful night… I thought about how NICE this guy’s embrace was and how perfectly in tune we were, musically speaking.  My heart swelled up with joy, as usual, and I thought to myself,

“I am so extremely grateful to have this dance in my life.”

For about a month after my lesson with Javier, I was feeling slightly rebellious against what he had taught me about my embrace.  Later I realized that I have been enjoying Tango more than ever, and it’s because I’ve been unconsciously doing everything that he told me.  Ha!  That guy’s good.

I have attended two milongas in Seattle so far.  At both, I consciously applied his philosophy to the way I embraced the tangueros of Seattle, which was to embrace the person - embrace who the person is.  Really HUG them.  With love.  Real love.  Just completely surrender and give myself, my heart to them, no questions asked.  I haven’t always done that… I’ve chased the ghost but sometimes have forgotten to simply love the person in my arms.  Truly love them.

I wasn’t sure what the reaction would be - I didn’t know if the guys here would be able to handle this chica coming up from South America and throwing her arms around them with complete surrender.  But you know what?  It worked out beautifully!  Each time, I felt the embrace and the warmth returned to me, equally.  I really, truly felt, with each dance, that I was sharing something special with the man in my arms.

Last year when I returned to Seattle from Buenos Aires I was kind of bummed out about the tango up north.  The warmth of the embrace just wasn’t there.  I’ve read numerous accounts of women going back to their hometowns from Buenos Aires and not quite feeling the same about tango.  I totally understand them - it’s not the same anywhere as it is in Buenos Aires.  That’s just not possible.  But one thing I hear - and something  I myself have said in the past -is that the embrace is colder outside of Buenos Aires.  But if that’s the case, then why has the embrace been so warm for me these past couple of days?

Do you suppose that we, upon returning from BsAs, are partly responsible and could stand to give more warmth to the guys up north, thus enabling them to open themselves up to us?  Because that’s what I think has happened with me.   For the first time on Seattle soil, I have just abandoned all expectations, all hesitation, all of my “oh I’m not in Buenos Aires so it’s going to suck” feelings, and really focused on the human being I was dancing with.

I said to myself, “Right now I’m dancing with XYZ.  I’m going to embrace him and all that I love about him.  I’m going to embrace our friendship as we dance, and think about all of the things we have shared these past few years.  I’m going to dance the love that I feel for him as a friend.  I’m going to hug him good.”

I hugged the heck out of him and he gave right back.  100%.  In a way that I have never experienced with him before.

And it happened this way with each man.  And each time I really focused on who the person was, what we had shared, how much I loved him in that moment right there.  And of course, because this is me, each time I made sure to give a little bit of my Buenos Aires to the embrace as well - there has been so much beauty (and ugliness) and magic in my life in Argentina and I hope I was able to share that with each man I danced with.  And they were all open to it.

I wonder what that’s about?  Did I just get lucky? Or do you think perhaps that we could stand to give ourselves just a little bit more?  Not always easy to do in this culture is it?

When I was first beginning five years ago, my friend Lachlan said, “Tina, tango is basically a big hug.”  So, upon hearing that, I gave him a big bear hug right there on the dance floor, and from that moment, our dance worked like magic.

Embrace = Hug

After three straight months of dancing with milongueros, I have developed sort of a hatred for leg wraps, ganchos and volcadas.  Why?  Because the milongueros don’t do those things!  (at least not that I’ve noticed)…

update: (okay, If they’re reeeeeallllly really well led and we’re somewhere non-traditional like Catedral, it’s ok.

Dear anonymous leader,

Please do not lead forward ochos by digging your elbow into my side.  It feels crappy and makes my knees hurt.

Thank you.

Why is it that younger dancers in Buenos Aires don’t invite me to dance very much?  They have no problem asking my friend, who is almost my same age, quite slender, a little more casual in dress, and I think younger looking.  But they seem to avoid me like the plague.  Not all of them, of course - but it does seem to be a trend.  I also notice that the men I dance with are usually older than I am.  Sometimes just 5 years older, sometimes a few decades older.  Men.

So what are the young guys afraid of?  Am I too milonguera for them?  Too dressed up?  Too curvy?  Can they not handle a woman?  Or maybe they just haven’t really thought to invite me.  Who knows.

I never really have problems getting dances at milongas so I don’t necessarily feel pain at not dancing with the younger guys, but I do find it very interesting in general and I wanted to put it out there to see what you all might have to say.

I can’t change who I am, I’ll always stand tall and my body will always be the way it is, and I’ll always wear make-up and dress up for Tango.  It’s what I like to do.  And I celebrate the fact that men with life experience and lots of stories enjoy having me in their arms.

I was going to have a second lesson with Javier and Andrea because I enjoyed them so much as people, and I felt like I got something out of the previous lesson, but I’ve decided to cancel it.

Not only is it quite a lot of money for me, but last week’s lesson got me stressing out about my embrace a little bit, and after getting a good lecture from an old milonguero friend, Pedro, about just being myself and being happy with my dancing the way it is, I realized that I do like my embrace the way it is, and I do like my dancing the way it is.

I’ve already found Tina. I just want to dance Tina. And I like my embrace - I meet the right guy on the dance floor and it fits - it just works. The embrace that Javier shared with me doesn’t really work with most of the men I love to dance with. It has made it much easier to dance with certain men I know in milongas, and I am grateful for that, but really, I like the way I embrace in general. I’m gonna be Tina.  Which is what I think Javier was trying to get at in the lesson, even if he did give me something different to work with.  Same message.

I don’t want to “improve” or be “better” or “good” at Tango. I want to be “Tina” at Tango. It’s not about competition, or improvement or progress - it’s about expressing yourself. I think I express myself just fine. Will I want a lesson in the future? Maybe - I’m not an absolutist, and Julio and Corina will be in Seattle in July while I am briefly there which is tough to say no to ;-). For now I’m going to really enjoy just being Tina in the dance, and I’m going to enjoy loving Tango.

I should note, to Javier’s credit, that the lesson was more centered around my attitude and self-confidence (read: body confidence) in the dance than it was about technique, and he too said that he like to see more Tina in the dance. Then again, he doesn’t know me the way the guys in the milongas do. We’ve never danced together socially. And I was also nervous to dance with Javier. I already am Tina in the dance. As I said, maybe that’s what he wanted me to realize in the lesson - that I’ve just got to be myself.

I’m going to recommend them as teachers to anyone who is curious. They really are great. I’m just at a time in my life where lessons kind of mess up my dancing. That’s because of where I am emotionally, mentally, spiritually, etc. I’m going through a natural evolution. My life experience is what affects my Tango right now.