Time for good ol’ update.   I’ve been in Italy almost 10 months now, and the city of Lecce 4 months.  It’s a lovely, delicious little city and I have to say, that this is the highest standard of living I’ve ever experienced.  From the perfect Leccese Baroque architecture and the pureness of the two seas, to the red soil, dark green olive trees and outstanding, simple, natural, beautiful food, I have to say I’m living pretty well.  All thanks to my good friend Alessandra who brought me here (visit her at AVANZI, by the way, to see her beautiful artistic creations.)

I also have Pino at BelTango to thank for trusting me with his students and “sponsoring” me as a teacher here.  There are several tango schools here in Lecce, and while I don’t know them very well I can at least say, from my point of view as someone who lived in Buenos Aires and danced with the best milongueros,  that Pino teaches a high-quality social tango that works for everyone.  His students love him – he seems to attract really nice people naturally.  So it’s been a joy to have them as my students too.  Very respectful, enthusiastic, ready to try new things.  My didactic is different than Pino’s but they were all very open and I think that he and I can compliment each other well.

I am dying to travel (you know me).  I’ll go back to Palermo, Sicily again in a week’s time, and then I’m off to Napoli (Naples in English) to see my best friend Kirsten who will be stopping there with her new husband while they are on their honeymoon.  I’m sure I will fit some tango in there too.

I’m dying to go back to Buenos Aires.  I really need it, for my dancing and for my soul.  Buenos Aires will always be my home and I miss it so much.  I may be able to in December for a while, let’s keep our fingers crossed.  I love that as “continuing education” for my “profession” I “have” to go to Buenos Aires.   Business expense!  Ha.

It would be nice to get back to Seattle as well.  I miss my friends there a lot.  So much.  There are a lot of things here that I wish I could share with them.  I also miss how included and a part of things I feel with my Seattle friends.  Being a new girl in Lecce has it’s ups and its downs.  I have a social life here and I have people that I can count on, but since I haven’t been here long enough, I don’t have a solid, permanent circle of friends.  That’s the life of a gypsy soul, however.

The translations are slowing down for the summer and I’m glad.  Between giving the tango courses, DJing and having giant translations projects on top of everything, my head is spinning.  I just got a Trados 2009 license (thanks  mom!) and will be able to use the summer getting used to the software so I can be more productive than ever when summer is over.

It’s been a tough couple of years.  Despite all the beauty (living in Buenos Aires, having great friends there and in Seattle, moving to beautiful Italy), it’s been rough.  Things I’ll never write about here.  This year was very healing for me and I think I might be done clawing my way up the hill.  I have a feeling things are taking a turn now and all the work will have paid off.  If you follow astrology, you know that Saturn is about to leave my sign (Virgo) until the year 2036 and I say, Ciao!  Saturn has been the planet of hard-learned lessons, and I have learned and would like to move on now, thanks.

In any event, when things don’t go my way, I just hop over to Natale, get a cone of gelato, and eat it while staring at the ancient Roman amphitheater in Piazza Sant’Oronzo.  I can only do that here.

I learned an important lesson last night at the milonga when I was DJing.

I’ve been very proud of myself lately, in terms of making sure the dance floor is full and the energy is up.  If you’ve been to Cachirulo in Buenos Aires, then you know what kind of music I like to play – I’m a total Carlos Rey groupie and wish I could go back there right now to continue to observe.   And that kind of music works really well here.  I love this music so much and I like to think that it’s reflected on the dance floor.

When I play music or dance or teach or anything to do with Tango, it’s not just an empty action.  I do these things with all my heart, with everything inside of me that remains from my life in Buenos Aires.  My love for that city is tremendous (and my love for tango is tremendous) and I seek to share that.  I’ve had some great comments from students about my passion, and I’m glad it comes through.

But there’s always a partypooper in the mix.  I received some comments this past week on my musical choices that really had me down. Now, I am open to requests for particular orchestras, suggestions from respected, experienced DJs, requests for different eras of music, requests to turn the volume up or down.  But in this case, I’m talking about  criticism over my personal style and my music selections.  Or maybe I just perceive it that way.  I take everything to heart, you see.  And I lost sleep over this.  That’s how vulnerable I am.

On a defensive note, I couldn’t really understand – if my music is so bad, then why is the dance floor so full and vibrant when I DJ?  Hey, the last time I DJ’d we went almost an hour past closing time because it was so much fun.

But that horrible Voice of Doom (described here by Sally) took over and all I could do, before setting up the equipment last night, was imagine people rolling their eyes and saying “Oh, not this again” with each tanda.

So I started the milonga keeping in mind what those partypoopers had suggested, veering away from what I usually do, to see what would happen.  And you know what?  For the first 40 minutes, hardly anyone danced.  It was sad and I was embarrassed.  I knew I had to get back to my own stuff, and the organizer of the milonga came up to me and said, “Put on the music they know – they need cheering up.”   So did I.  And he was right – I had to play the music they know, and especially the music they know to come from me.  Surprises aren’t always a good idea.  So I threw the other comments out the window, told the Voice of Doom to take a hike and I threw on a great rhythmic Troilo tanda.

With that, the floor filled up and the energy in the room stayed high and positive all night – these people know how to have a good time.

Luckily, the majority of people whose opinions really matter (as well as some people from outside of Lecce) came after that long 40 minutes.  I received a very nice compliment from a visitor who said she had recently been to Buenos Aires and she missed it, and my music completely took her back.  THAT, my friends, trumps anything that some cranky sourpuss who can’t appreciate my tango might ever say to me.  Do I want to listen to my instinct and see that the dancefloor is full and moving beautifully? Or do I want to listen to the complaints of about 5 people who really don’t know me or tango very well?

And so, the lesson has been learned: I can, and must, only be myself.  When I want input on my music, I will ask my trusted DJ friends that I look up to, as always.  Never make compromises.  Never do anything that doesn’t come totally from the heart as a reflection of ME.  I know what works and I will continue to do what works.

So there.

As you’ve probably been able to conclude, I’m in Lecce.  The Tramontana blew me here.

Tramontana is the name for the wind from the north that blows here in Puglia sometimes.  Since I arrived from a land in the “north” (okay, central Italy – but it’s all relative.  From here everything is north), and since I arrived suddenly, I like to think it was the wind that brought me.  It has a romantic feel to it, no?

The wind may not have literally blown me here but it sure feels like it.  A series of events brought me here, and I simply decided to go with the flow and follow all the signs.  A bit vague, I know, but it included a lot of music, a lot of tango and a free ride in a friend’s car.  I simply followed the current (as fighting it would get me nowhere) and here I am.  I have projects I’m very excited about in Lecce.  It’s all fine and dandy.

And here is what can happen when you follow the signs and go where the wind takes you.  This vals sums up my mood lately. 

I’m still in Lecce and will be on my way to Rome tomorrow.  Then Seattle for a week.

I have a lot of emotions to process right now.

I like this land.  A lot.  I haven’t felt such a “vibration” (for lack of a better word) since setting foot in Argentina.  The city of Lecce is adorable and very navigable for a girl without a car.  I’ve been giving tango lessons here and am enjoying developing a relationship with the milonguero school here.  My visit here has been full of all kinds of synchronicities that I just cannot ignore. I’ve made a wonderful friend here and it’s made me miss my girlfriends in Perugia.  I wish I could bring them all together.  I don’t know what I’ll do yet but the wheels are turning.

While I’ve been here I’ve received the very sad news that my wonderful grandmother, Teresa Ferrari, passed away.  She was 89 years old.  She was the matriarch of the family and everybody’s grandmother – everybody’s.  All the kids in her neighborhood called her “Grandma”.  I still remember 8 years ago sitting with my cousin in Perugia, talking about our grandfather’s death, which had happened a few years prior, and saying, “What are we going to do when it’s grandma’s turn?”  We couldn’t bear to think of it anymore.  Her presence has been that powerful in our lives.

She lived until the very last minute.  She was an artist.  She lived her last years in a beautiful condo in West Seattle, and you could see Vashon island from her balcony, which almost symbolized her being able to watch over her children who live there.   She walked everywhere.  She took her fitness class at the senior center.  She was hard to get a hold of because she had quite an impressive social calendar!   Wherever I’ve lived in the world, she has always sent me handmade cards for my birthday, Christmas, and just because.  I still have them all.

This video below was put together by my friend Alessandra Bray, and the song is by a group from this area called Bambini Latini.  The song is called “Rimani Come Sei” (stay the way you are, loosely translated), which is what my grandmother might say to me.  Most of the photographs are of the beautiful Salento and were taken by Silvestro Silvestori, who runs a cooking school in Lecce (more on that later).

It will be a bit of time before I can describe this trip in detail.  One thing I can say is that it’s needed.  The winter in Perugia has been gray, gray, gray.  It gets you down.  On top of that, I’ve been dealing with the disappointing sting of learning that a certain personal relationship was… not what I thought it was.  I’ve been processing  that for about a month.  On top of that, I’ve been worrying about my grandmother’s health, which fortunately seems to be doing well now.  On top of that, I’ve been just so incredibly busy (which is good, but exhausting!).

I stopped in Rome for a night before I came down here, and it was such a dream.  I went to a milonga organized by some people I met in Buenos Aires, and was pleasantly surprised to find all of those people, plus an Argentine I knew from my regular milonga in Buenos Aires.  Needless to say, I had some heavenly dances and made some wonderful connections.  I took the metro to get to the milonga and walked around the neighborhood where it is located.  It brought me to life.  I realized how much of a city girl I am.  You just can’t take Buenos Aires out of the girl!

Lecce has lifted my spirits.  I have met so many angels here who have gone out of their way to welcome me and make me feel good.  I have made a wonderful tango connection and gave a two-hour lesson to an amazing, sweet couple who lavished me with pastries, coffee, sweet wine and tangos sung by the beautiful voice of Tito Schipa, a tenor from Lecce.  Thanks to them, I have had requests from other dancers here asking for lessons.  It’s turning out to be an eventful week!

Everything seems to be made of the local Leccese stone.  The streets and architecture glow at night with the help of streetlights, and during the day when Lecce is bathed in sunlight it’s like standing in a city of gold.  It’s a really beautiful city.

A new friend brought me to Gallipoli today and it made my heart sing.  That beautiful ancient town on the Ionian Sea tickled my soul just right and made me feel light and refreshed.  It was so cloudy on the way there, but exactly over Gallipoli there was only clear blue sky.  It was a treat to walk along the water without a jacket, smelling the salty air.  We delightfully scooped out the “eggs” from the insides of ricci (sea urchins) with bread while looking at the horizon.  This burst of sun made me feel pretty good.

I’m positively in love with Gallipoli, but another new contact has offered to take me to Otranto.  I can hardly wait.

This has been a great experience for me because I’ve been able to get away and do something I’m good at: traveling.  It’s been a nice reminder that I’m independent.  I have gotten to know new people, I have tasted all kinds of interesting new foods, and I did it myself.

My heart is bursting with love for this area that is new to me, and I hope to keep it in my life.

I’m going to Lecce (in Puglia) a week from Monday.  Just to hang out, relax, maybe get some work done, dance some tango, and not be in Umbria or Tuscany (meaning, I need a change of scenery!).  Maybe I’ll travel.  Maybe I won’t.

These past few weeks have been full of serious reflection.  Not just connected to the fact that I’m settling in here in Italy, but also out of a desire to take care of my heart and make sure I’m happy from the inside.

I may not be responsible for how other people act or think or feel, but I AM responsible for my own actions/thoughts/feelings, and for the situations I choose to be in.  In fact, on the train from Florence the other week, it hit me that if I’m the one who is responsible for my happiness (and nobody else is), I can just decide to be happy!  Not that I wasn’t before, because I am a generally happy person.  But it’s a powerful realization.  And so I decided, on that train, to just be happy – consciously.  This has led to further reflection and further examination of my patterns in life.  Approaching these things from a positive viewpoint (as opposed to the common idea that we have to do all these things BEFORE being happy) has been very interesting and productive!  I feel refreshed and excited to move forward in life.  It’s kind of cool how the mind works.

So, I’m topping all of this off with a visit to a city that fascinates me.  I wish I had a better camera, but I’ll do my best with what I’ve got!

I’ve been here over three months now.  Almost four.

My first months here consisted of just getting comfortable, getting reacquainted with the tango here, figuring out where to live, and just being excited in general.

Now that it’s worn off, and in winter no less, I find myself sitting here, half-bored, half-reflecting.

I’m just now able to start processing all of my time spent in Buenos Aires.  I just now feel like I really live here in Italy.  I just now am reaching a point where it’s time to do some serious self-reflecting and understand not only my heart’s desires but also some of my own patterns.  It’s an interesting time right now.  It sounds so sad, doesn’t it?  It’s really not.  It’s just time for me to make some inside adjustments, ponerme las pilas and build my life, now that I’ve settled in here.  Not easy, but very worthwhile.

I’ve been rather nostalgic for Buenos Aires lately.  But, I’m also settling into the groove of Perugia and enjoying my neighborhood.  Once the winter passes I’ll be able to get out more.  Most of the time I’m working inside, huddled by the heater.

I can finally listen to Fresedo again without sobbing, thanks to a wonderful book I read in Italian recently, called ARGENTINA (by Renata Mambelli) about Italian immigrants in Buenos Aires in the 1930s-40s, particularly one woman who goes in search of two sons who left her behind in Italy ten years prior.

It’s situated mostly in the barrios of San Telmo and La Boca (and later, way down south in Ushuaia), and imagining the streets I know so well being walked upon by new immigrants who would make Buenos Aires what it is today, made me appreciate my beloved city in a new way.  I found that I enjoyed listening to Fresedo while reading the book – perfect mood music.

I don’t know if there is an English translation available of the book, but if there is, I recommend that you read it.  It was refreshing not to have to read yet another “my boyfriend dumped me so I suddenly decided to learn tango and run away to Buenos Aires and never leave Palermo Hollywood” novel.  This book doesn’t even mention tango – but it sure made me feel differently about tango and the stories behind the songs.

The sun came out this week, despite the cold temperatures.

When the sun is out my hair is curlier and nicer, so I’m in a good mood.

I’m sitting here with an afternoon glass of wine, looking at the castle that sits just across the way, which I can see from my window.  I have this song playing.  It’s all good.

Here’s the castle…

Here are some hills as seen from another window…

That said, I’m craving some city life.  And I miss Florence.  So I think I’ll be heading up there before the month ends.  Maybe next Friday.  Should be fun!

Hey, it’s my last post of 2009!  I tried filling out memes for it, but that just didn’t seem right.  I thought of “a year in photos” where I would post one photo from each month, but I didn’t take any pictures April through August.  So, I’m winging it.  This will be a potpourri blog post.

My favorite things that happened (this is by no means comprehensive):

- Spending time with Joli and her lovely family in Buenos Aires.

- Dancing with Pedro.

- Some good cooking.

- I got my Italian passport.

- Maxi came to Seattle!

- I moved back to Italy!

This blog post is titled “Cambiare Pagina” – which basically means, turn the page.  It’s also the title of the song I’m listening to right now (if you really want to know how it came about).  In fact, why don’t you have a listen while you read the rest of this blog post?

I have turned a lot of pages this year.  I try to focus on the positive in this blog because I want to inspire more than anything, so a lot of stories have not been told here and perhaps never will be, but what I can tell you is that there were times when I was sitting there, stuck.  It took a lot of effort and coaxing before I was able to look inside myself and say “that’s it” and turn the page to a new chapter.  Some of those pages were heavy.  But I had to turn them.  Only then was I able to invite new experiences into my life that I wanted.

How do I feel at the end of 2009?

I miss Buenos Aires.  A lot.  It will always be the love of my life.  No city has ever affected me that much.  Rome has helped take the edge off of the nostalgia.  Oh, Rome.  You lovely thing you.  I miss Seattle and my friends and family who helped me when I was “stuck in the mud” this year.  I’m still pinching myself at times when I look around me and see where I live – Umbria.  I sigh with happiness when I look around my well-constructed home with nice, heavy doors on good hinges.  Everything is solid around me.  It’s so nice.  I can pay rent again.  And live alone.  And I eat really, really well.  I’m grateful for that.

What do I want in 2010?

A steady income.  I love being a translator and I’ll always do it, but I’m also hoping for another source of income outside of the house.  Something I hated this year (and last year) was not knowing how much I’d earn each month.  And with the crisis it wasn’t any easier. That’s the life of a freelancer.  While I won’t get rich here in Italy, I CAN at least find SOMETHING and know that I’ll have the same exact amount coming in each month.  I sigh with relief just thinking about it.

If I close my eyes and imagine 2010 as I’d love it to be, I see myself feeling relaxed, having some cash left over after paying rent/utilities/groceries.  I see myself having dinner parties.  There are always at least 5 bottles of good wine in my wine cabinet.  I’m in love.  I travel.  I have that cute apron I’ve been eyeing on the internet.  There is art on my walls.

Have a safe and happy new year!

This was generated based on the words I used most on twitter this year.  If you use twitter, go here to make your tweet cloud.