I’m not sure why it is, but in the last 9 months living here in Italy I have come across a lot of people who have moved here with little or no awareness of exactly how to stay here legally.  Some are university students and are under the impression that their university has handled everything.  Others are adventurous souls who just picked up and moved here, and think they’ll figure it out as they go along.  Others accepted jobs from employers who simply said “oh, we’ll take care of it”.  While for EU citizens there is very little to worry about, if you’re not from the EU it’s not as simple as just showing up.   I know it’s the last thing you want to think about as you imagine yourself trotting down the streets of Florence or Rome on your way to meet a friend for an aperitivo, but just humor me for a minute and read this.  Here are a few things to consider if you would like to move to Italy.

1. Do your homework. I know your local university has had an exchange program with the Italian university for so many years, but that doesn’t mean that they’ll be able to help you once you get to Italy.  Perhaps you’ve been offered a job, but it may not be wise to assume your employer actually plans on getting you a visa.  Even if they do, and even if your university does help its students, you would be wise to take the responsibility of doing as much research as you can.  One great place to start is Expats in Italy.

2.  Learn the difference between a visa and a permesso di soggiorno. It is very important to keep in mind that a visa simply gets you into the country.  To actually stay, you need to get your permesso di soggiorno, or stay permit.  The visa is important to have because it is sort of a springboard to get you started in the bureaucratic process of applying for your stay permit.  But that’s all it is.  When you have your visa in hand, remember that this is Italy and the paperwork is never done.  To get started on applying for your permesso, you can ask for help at your university or from your employer, or go to the post office where they have the application packages.  This is something that needs to be done within 8 days of entering Italy.  Again, the people on the forum at Expats in Italy are very helpful if you need to know more.  My friend Georgette at Insiders Abroad just posted a link to this very informative blog post dealing with just this sort of thing.

3. The magic number is 90. When you arrive as a tourist, you are allowed to stay 90 days.  But don’t assume that you can just hop the border every 90 days and keep staying.  It used to be so, but now you actually have to leave for 90 days as well.  That’s right – 90 days in and 90 days out.  And not just Italy.  You have to leave the entire Schengen area (which includes most of Europe) for 90 days.  Be very careful about abusing this rule.  I personally know people who have been caught overstaying their allotted 90 days and it was not pretty.  You could risk being banned from the entire zone for five years.

I don’t like to sound negative or discouraging, but it really perplexes me when people don’t do their research before coming over here.  Maybe I’m just obsessive-compulsive, but I would never move to another country, legally or not, without trying to learn as much as I can about how everything works.  It is completely your choice if and how you want to come to Italy, but no matter what path you choose, you will find that so many doors open for you if you just do your research before you move.  It’s worth it!

*This post was written for AffordableCallingCards.net.  Do you have loved ones living in Italy?  You might want to click here to learn about cheap phone cards for keeping in touch. You can click here to read more posts about expat life written by myself and other bloggers.

As Switzerland expat Chantal recently expressed, you know you’re a perpetual expat when “people ask where you’re from and you finally have an answer. You say, ‘It’s complicated.’”

While some people relocate to just one country, there are others who, like me, have changed country/continent of residence several times.  My first living abroad experience was in Switzerland in 2002… later I lived in Italy, then Argentina, and now I’m in Italy again.  With the exception of Switzerland, which, while beautiful, was just not my cup of tea, my identity has become so intertwined with the places I lived that I have no idea what to say when people ask where I’m from (which happens often here).  Having two passports does not make things any less complicated.

It’s rather entertaining when they try to guess.  Germany? France?  Uruguay? (Yes, someone in Italy asked if I was from Uruguay and I have yet to understand why.)  They can’t always tell where my strange accent in their language comes from (because it’s mine, all mine!), and I don’t encompass a “typical look” of any one place.

My answer, like Chantal’s, is “it’s complicated”.   This usually draws the curiosity of the asker, and I am launched into my story.  Responses I get are usually in line with “Oh yes, I totally knew it”, which makes me chuckle.

A while ago, a friend shared this video. It’s Argentine and the song is called “De donde sos?” …which means, “Where are you from?”.  It’s sweet and silly (and the guy singing it is cute) and I thought it was perfect for this post.  It defines my “expat type” – the whole reason I started moving abroad in the first place was because I wanted to become part of a place from the inside. What happens really is that the place becomes a part of me and stays that way.

How do YOU answer when people ask where you’re from?

*This post was written for AffordableCallingCards.net, the expat community site. You can click here to read more posts about expat life written by myself and other bloggers.

Adopting a new country or city is so exciting.  New sights, smells, and people.  New languages in some cases.  New food.  New you.  Wherever I have lived, I have definitely taken the time to look around, soak everything in and appreciate the things that make me stay.  But there comes a time in every expat’s life when no matter how beautiful your surroundings are, no matter how much fun you’re having, you want to yell, “I want my mommy!”

Getting sick. It’s bad enough to catch a bug when you’re at home, but when you live thousands of miles away from your family, it’s depressing.  This morning, in fact, I woke up not feeling so great.  Luckily, I’ve managed to form a social circle and all I had to do was make a few calls.  I was able to see a doctor, get tests and a prescription (let’s hear it for accessible public health care!).  A friend brought me some food.  I slept all day and woke up to text messages from people checking in on me.  It was a lesson for me in sticking my neck out and making connections.  It’s another reason you don’t want to isolate yourself if you’re an expat.

When things just don’t get done. We take public utilities for granted in the first world.  When I was living in Argentina, I had quite the situation where my apartment was without gas for 21 days, due to work very slowly being done.  Without gas = no cooking, no hot showers.  I then moved out of that apartment for various reasons and stayed with friends, who in turn found themselves without gas for a while.  It’s a rite of initiation in Buenos Aires I think.  I know someone whose office was without gas for six months (read: no heating either!). But my point is, when you can’t just make coffee or boil some water for pasta, and when you have to take cold showers, and you are so far from home, it’s a rather useless and helpless feeling.

When things are going great. I know I tend to get homesick when everything goes so well and I want to share it with everyone I know.  A great meal, a beautiful view, the friends I’m making.  I have regular fantasies about people from here coming with me to visit my friends in Seattle and Argentina, and vice versa.  It makes me sad that I can’t bring all these people together so easy.

What are some of your “I want my mommy” moments?

*This post was written for AffordableCallingCards.net, the expat community site. You can click here to read more posts about expat life written by myself and other bloggers.

Even Italy’s beauty and charm can become “lost” in the day to day goings on in life.  Between teaching tango, writing, translating and socializing, I’m “sempre di corso”.  Always on the run.  Rarely a minute to myself to just breathe.  So yes, even in Italy I can become stressed out and tired – albeit happy.  Once in a while, something happens that reminds me that I’m in ITALY and it makes my heart flutter.  Two things in particular:

The caffè on a sunny Sunday morning. Once in a while I enjoy leaving the house to get my coffee.  Since the weather is pleasant, if I’m in company I like to sit at one of the outdoor tables.  Italians who are in a hurry usually down a quick shot of espresso at the bar, but if I have the time I don’t mind paying the extra service charge for sitting down.  To me, it’s worth it: I get to people watch!  Being in the middle of the chaos of people sitting down (or getting up), talking over each other, ordering their coffee, while (very) well-dressed folks continue to strut by, is a true “Italy moment” for me.

The spectacular views. Okay, the whole world has spectacular views. But the views here remind me that miracles are possible.  Last week I was at lunch on the property of a friend who lives near the point where the Adriatic and the Ionian seas meet, and as I stood and looked at the panorama that lay before me, I began laughing.  When we think of things like this – Mediterranean water and sky so blue and clear – we tend to dismiss them as fantasies.  I realized, at that moment, that I am living the dream – that I can see things like this any time I want.  And only in Italy.  See for yourself:

*This post was written for AffordableCallingCards.net, the expat community site. You can click here to read more posts about expat life written by myself and other bloggers.

A while ago I wrote a post on Katie’s blog about making friends abroad, and today I will elaborate on the topic a little bit.

My suggestions from that post aside, every expat has their own way of getting around and making friends.  For those who speak the local language and are comfortable with it, that means making friends with locals – perhaps through a social activity such as tango, in my case. Then there are those who don’t speak the language and find their friends more easily through local expat groups.

It’s possible to have both local and foreign friends, but I’ve noticed that there are people who go to either extreme.

There are some who are determined to assimilate into the local culture and may go out of their way not to have other expats in their social circles.  This is understandable on one level.  If you want to maintain fluency in the language and really discover a place – and become a part of that place, especially if you plan on staying forever – you’ve got to interact with its people.  Making the effort to hang around locals and being successful at it also means you feel like less of an outsider.  On the other hand, you risk feeling another form of isolation.  You can’t vent in your native language.  You might come across a bureaucratic hurdle that only another foreigner would be familiar with.  Or you may miss out on connecting with someone who would make a great friend.

Those who go around mostly in expat circles have the benefit of knowing others from home who have been through a lot of the same transitions before.  Having support from someone who understands the culture shock you’re going through is important.  Yet if this is your only source of social life, you run the risk of living in an “expat bubble”.  These really exist – when I use the term “expat bubble”, I refer to those who live years in a country without ever learning its language or customs, who move among a strictly expat social circle and basically never assimilate.  This can be dangerous because in this case you never learn how to get things done or how to get out of situations you may find yourself it.  It can be isolating – and pointless if you ask me..

Me, I make most of my friends in Italy through tango and blogging.  I have mostly Italian friends here, but I cherish my American, English and Argentine friends in Italy immensely.  In my opinion, it’s good to have a balance.  If you feel a connection with someone and it feels natural to have a friendship, does it really matter where they are from?

What’s your strategy for making friends in your new country?

*This post was written for AffordableCallingCards.net, the expat community site. You can click here to read more posts about expat life written by myself and other bloggers.

I began writing this post in Sea-Tac Airport after a short visit home, while waiting for my flight…home.  When you live abroad, that very word, “home”, becomes a dual-use term.

On one hand, the place you came from, the place where your parents are waiting for you, the place you were raised, will always be home.  It’s what you always go back to.  It’s your original source of identity and most likely the origin of your most comforting memories.

No matter where I live I will always have Seattle.  When I need a sense of comfort, I close my eyes and think of the Puget Sound, smoked salmon and my friends and family.  It’s a place I can always go back to, a place where I can stash my things that I won’t be needing in the rest of the world.  It’s home.

On the other hand, when you live abroad and really settle there, your new country also becomes your home.  It’s where you have your apartment, where you run your errands, where you work and pay the bills.  It’s the place you chose as a grown up, based on your own desires and life experiences.  It becomes a part of you and your identity in a new way.

It hits you that your new home has become, well, home, when you leave that country for a couple of weeks and then come back.  The first time for me was Buenos Aires.  It was the first time I lived somewhere and managed a visit to Seattle while I was at it.  My reentry into Buenos Aires after two weeks in Seattle was like nothing else.  As the taxi passed through Boedo to take me to Once, where I lived, I thought “Wow, I’m home.”

And now Italy.  It does feel different to leave and come back with a single suitcase that I can carry with one hand.  After this trip, I am looking forward to sleeping in my bed, cooking in my kitchen, looking out my window at my castle (ok well it’s not technically mine but you know what I mean), and being in my space, speaking my Italian.  Italy is home.

Although, I once heard someone say that home is where the suitcase is.  Maybe that expression best suits me.

What’s your home?  How many homes do you have?

*This post was written for AffordableCallingCards.net, the expat community site where you can also buy calling cards to Italy (got that, relatives? I’m waiting to hear from you!) You can click here to read more posts about expat life written by myself and other bloggers.

While I don’t advise stressing out too much over getting ready for an overseas move (because no matter how much you prepare, you won’t be prepared), it is definitely wise to have a few things handy in advance, if only to take the edge off the shock of arrival in your new country.  Here are 3 things that I think are essential for your move to Italy:

1. The Internet. Cherrye recently published a great list of sites to look at before you make your move to Italy, and I second what she says.  While your experience will never be the same as anyone else’s, reading blogs and introducing yourself on forums such as Expats in Italy will be invaluable in your personal preparation.  Not only will you be able to get an idea of mundane life in Italy (yes, I put mundane and Italy in the same sentence), but there is nothing like being just a URL away from others who have already taken the leap.

2. Non-Italian Recipes.  Yes, you’re moving to Italy and you’re excited about the food.  I can’t blame you – we eat well here.  There are more pasta shapes than you can imagine, and the fresh produce is out of this world.  As you travel from region to region (if you can), you will discover all kinds of new dishes.  That said, there will come time when you crave foods from outside of Italy.  If you don’t live in a bigger city, you won’t have access to a lot of international cuisine.  Why not get creative and try to duplicate what it is you’re craving?  I made chocolate chip cookies a couple of weeks ago (for chocolate chips, I could have used “gocce di cioccolato” from Perugina, but since I had a 70% dark chocolate bar, I had fun and chopped that up).  Right now I’m in sort of a Tex-Mex mood and am thinking of making fajitas for my boyfriend on New Years Eve.  (Here’s a great flour tortilla recipe.  For sour cream while in Italy, you can mix mascarpone with lemon juice, or use Total brand Greek yogurt.)

3. A Blog.  Before I discovered what a blog was, when I lived or traveled abroad I would send mass e-mails every week, detailing my adventures and attaching photos.  How wonderful it was to discover blogging!  While e-mails are great for relatives and friends who don’t want to bother looking at a blog, it gets a bit tiresome managing a mailing list.  Not only do I have my writings archived in a single place, blogging has enabled me to reach out to other expats with whom I can share ideas and experiences.

What are your essentials for moving overseas?

*This post was written for AffordableCallingCards.net, the expat community site where you can also buy calling cards to Italy (got that, relatives? I’m waiting to hear from you!) You can click here to read more posts about expat life written by myself and other bloggers.

One reason you’ve seen me a bit quiet over here is because I’m writing everywhere else!

A couple weeks ago I wrote about my idea of comfort food while living abroad.

Then I raided the blog of my friends Barb and Art, who live in Umbria.  They have a house for sale in Umbria, by the way.   I’ve seen it up close, and it is beautiful.  While I’d like to know they’ll always be just across the hills, it would also be great to see them succeed in selling it so they can continue with their life adventures.   I wrote on their blog about new olive oil.

I also wrote recently on Jessica’s blog, Too Tall for Italy, about what living abroad has taught me about myself.  Jessica will be moving to France soon, and I wish her the best of luck!

You can also find me on Annika’s blog, where I talk about the pros and cons of nomadic life.  I hope to finally meet Annika in 2010!

By the way, if you want to fantasize about living in a villa in Tuscany, or if you are planning on traveling with a group to Tuscany (or Umbria) and would like to rent a vacation home for a week or so, visit Italian Town and Country.  They represent some beautiful properties.  If you do the math, there are actually some great deals for large groups of people traveling together (in the end, each person spends less than they would on a hotel).

Have a good Thanksgiving weekend everyone.

My normally quiet town of Perugia has once again been inundated with tourists from Italy and beyond for the annual Eurochocolate festival. The usually pristine Corso Vannucci, which runs through the center of Perugia, fills up with big white tents, where Italian and European chocolate vendors set up their stalls each morning.

On one hand, this is a good thing.  I mean hey, it’s a chocolate festival, and who doesn’t like the idea of that?  It lasts a week and a few of the stands offer tiny cups of the thickest hot chocolate – sometimes spiced – for around a Euro.  As the season changes to fall, I can’t think of a better way to stay warm.

On the other hand, I don’t enjoy crowds of meandering tourists.  Since I live in the center of town, all of my practical shopping takes place in the center as well.  During Eurochocolate, this means that a grocery shopping trip is a slow, frustrating swim through people who ironically walk straight into you as soon as they see, with eye contact, that you’re in each other’s paths.  It’s one thing for a street to be bustling and full of local people, it’s another thing when it’s full of only tourists.  Add that to the music blaring from speakers throughout the Corso, just for the festival, and it’s not such a relaxing walk.  Of course, since none of the chocolate tourists actually live here, as soon as I get into the supermarket it’s business as usual (though the daily chaos of my small supermarket is another story).

Yet it’s actually worth it to walk outside, even during this chaos.  I can’t complain about the lingering scent of chocolate in the air, nor can I complain about that delicious hot chocolate.  The festival was also a reason for me to make a new friend – an American living in Florence who came down just to see what Eurochocolate was all about.  Not only that, at Saturday night’s milonga, I shared some beautiful tangos with a man visiting from Cesena, up north.  He came just for the festival.  And I got to dance with him.

Did I buy any chocolate at the festival?  Well, no.  While there are plenty of tastings and the chocolate isn’t TOO pricey (but still…), I feel like the festival is quite full of Nestle (who now owns Perugina), Milka and Lindt – brands I can find just about anywhere.  There are plenty of other vendors from Italy and the rest of Europe, but the chaos of visitors is again what deters me.  So I continue to buy my usual bar of dark chocolate in the local supermarket for half the price.

Does your city hold any events that attract a lot of visitors?

*This post was written for AffordableCallingCards.net, the expat community site where you can also buy calling cards to Italy. You can click here to read more posts about expat life written by myself and other bloggers.

I am here.  As I sip wine and look out my window at the sun setting over the hills of Umbria (*sigh*), I reflect on how I feel about having made this move. I arrived, this time, without excitement.  Just…. tranquilla, calm.

I landed in Rome.  My introduction to Italy is usually Rome, and I can’t think of a better city to start out in.  It’s possibly the most magical place I’ve been.  It seems like there is a historical surprise waiting around every corner.  And boy is it chaotic – but it’s a beautiful chaos.  The kind of chaos that’s just perfect for a girl who misses Buenos Aires (not that it’s totally chaotic, but I guess you’d have to be there to understand what I mean).

The chaos of Rome was of course contrasted by the calm of Perugia, where I arrived yesterday and where I’m living.  After moving into this shared apartment in the historic center, with my bedroom window overlooking rooftops and Umbrian hills, I had a “freak-out”.  I suddenly began to panic, about everything, about having no idea how I’ll get my life in order when I want to, etc.  Panic, panic, panic.

I decided to clear my head by taking a walk and going grocery shopping.  As I strolled past medieval architecture and people chatting, I let the warm sun bathe me and I calmed down.  I was pleased to find that I’m still familiar with the streets of this town.  It was almost strange and surreal to walk through it.  I couldn’t quite place the feeling. I returned to the apartment, hungry and at peace.  Sort of.  I vented one last panic to a friend over e-mail, and she wrote back reminding me that I’m a citizen here, I speak three languages and I already have friends here.  I’ll be fine.  She’s right.

This morning I left the house again to meet a friend for an impromptu coffee – someone who is a fixture here in Perugia and of course knows a lot of people.  I realized, en route to the cafe, that I felt as though I’d returned home.  And I guess, in a way, I have.  I also realized that I have angels here, right in front of me, ready and willing to help me.  I just have to be assertive and make the most of those connections.  If I do that I’ll be fine.

I think most people who relocate to different countries have their initial “expat freak-out”.  If you can get past it and keep moving on, you’re golden.  In fact, Cherrye, a lovely lady living in Calabria, wrote a post recently about knowing whether expat life is right for you.  (She also continued the topic here.)  I luckily can relate to everything she wrote, but I understand that relocating abroad isn’t for everybody.  She asks, in her second post on the subject, “What characteristics and traits do you think successful expats share?”  And I have to say, assertiveness.  You can have all the tools and connections in the world, but if you aren’t assertive and use them, what’s the point?

*This post was written for AffordableCallingCards.net, the expat community site. You can click here to read more posts about expat life written by myself and other bloggers.