I think one reason I like to travel so much and live in different places, is that it is so interesting to see myself in a territory that is not mine. When you’re in a new place, you tend to ask more questions - about the people and things surrounding you, as well as about yourself.
This trip has been a good opportunity to look inside myself and really try to understand what my priorities are in life, as well as an opportunity to step back and take inventory. Who am I? What have I done so far? Who do I want in my life? Etc…
I’ve done good. Those who know me, know that I have never felt complete just sitting still in gloomy, grey Seattle. It’s a fantastic city and I love having visitors there and showing them around, and I love my friends, but it’s not my *my* city. It is and it’s not. I am my best, my most alive, when I am away. When I am learning new things, learning about myself, learning new languages.
It’s scary and fascinating to think that I am doing what I want, and that I’m free.
Being here has also caused me to reflect on my relationship with Tango. I stayed home last night as I had an “existential Tango crisis”, one of those realizations that I am a mere guest here, among many other realizations, and I needed to go through those thoughts and feelings and just digest, not dance. I won’t get into those thoughts here, but I think I’m over that hump and ready to dance again.
I can’t imagine coming here only for the Tango, taking lessons day in and day out, dancing every night. I’m too sensitive to do that. I need time to reflect, observe, take a look at who I am in relation to everything and everyone around me. It’s an important part of traveling for me. I like to think even this affects my dancing, and hopefully in a good way.
I’ll be here for a while. I can’t say for how long or what’s going to happen, because it depends on what I can do with my airline tickets and what kind of a place I find to stay in. We’ll see… I’ll certainly keep you posted here.
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I think I know the crisis you are talking about, and the realization that moving to BAs *only* for Tango may be for some, but not for all. Anyway, I hope you find your way to stay there and enjoy
I lived a very nomadic life growing up, then was homebound as a single mother for 15 years before I had the money/opportunity to travel again. I can certainly understand your need to travel to learn more about yourself through the world’s lens. We all have our own quests to discover what we’re made of and what we’re here for. I hope you find some answers.
The most important thing is not your address, but that YOU (your deeper spiritual identity) are there where ever you are. And just so you know, we never ever stop learning. If we do, it means we have died and live on another planet. It’s so good to see you enjoy this one they way you are. I applaud your courage to enjoy the world both externally and internally. Love you…mom
Hear, hear Mom!!!
Tina, I think most of us feel “most alive” when we are anywhere that is “new”. All our feelers are out, not only to suck up the joy, but to be on the lookout for hidden dangers. When we are in “adventure” mode, life is exciting. And although “routine” also has it’s place in our lives (as “comfort”), we need to learn how to balance the two.
Hi there! I am a 38-years-old Argentinean living abroad. I moved many times, to several countries. I read your post and struck a chord. I am still looking for my place in the world, still thinking what I want to be “when I grow up” lol, because I feel I still have a lot of learning and growing to do. How do you like the city? Bs As is one of my favorite spots on this planet, and still I havent been there for many many years.
“It’s scary and fascinating to think that I am doing what I want, and that I’m free.”
I remember a similar feeling when I left criminal law to go do something that I really enjoy. Your words really resonate!
“I can’t imagine coming here only for the Tango, taking lessons day in and day out, dancing every night. I’m too sensitive to do that. I need time to reflect, observe, take a look at who I am in relation to everything and everyone around me.”
Tina, you are doing everything the right way. You’re giving yourself time and that is the most freedom a person can have.
“I am my best, my most alive, when I am away”. l feel the same way! lm really enjoying your posts. l admire your courage and it sounds like you are really making this work for you.. Brava!
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