Gypsy Soul

I can’t begin to explain the excitement I feel when I think about going back to Buenos Aires. I feel like I’m coming alive again. I close my eyes and imagine the things I have yet to discover that I missed on the last trip, I imagine the faces of my friends, the hot, bustling sidewalks, the shuffle of high-heeled shoes on a dance floor, the faces of regulars in cafes - I think of all of this and I get the taste of dulce de leche in my mouth. The ghost conjures itself in my heart and reminds me that I’m going home, in a way.

They say home is where the heart is. Where is my heart? Always going, always wandering. Always on the other side of the world from where I am.

This is how I feel at the prospect of going just about anywhere. I’m an explorer, never content with just one place. I’m a perpetual expat, and I seem to be making my home in a couple of different countries. I find myself at home almost everywhere. If it involves packing a suitcase, I’m happy. My blood is flowing. I’m alive. I’ve narrowed it down lately to Argentina and Italy, but even within those places, there is a lot of traveling to be done. You can never fully know Florence, Rome or Buenos Aires. Not right away. At least I can’t. The curiosity that arises in me when I think of these places, is like no other.

I’m a lot like Annika, who in the past couple of days has explained her own nomadic soul. Like her, I cannot imagine how a person could get through life staying in just one place, never seeing the world, never discovering new things to apply to his or her life. I cannot go through life as a settler. I too am an explorer. Settlers abound in this world, and on more than one occasion they have asked me, “How do you do it? Why do you do it? Oh, if I only had a year left to live I’d do it too.” This always makes me giggle.  Me? Wait until I only have one year left to live? How do I know that’s not now? Why do I do it? I do it because it’s the only way I can feel totally alive, and I manage to do it because it’s my priority in life.

I do not consume, meaning I don’t have a car, I don’t spend money on needless things (um, Tango shoes don’t count - those are like toothpaste or water - absolutely necessary), I make most of my meals from scratch at home, and I have created this life for myself where I can work from wherever I am. So, I can keep producing, if I am diligent and keep up contact with clients. It’s not always easy, but it’s the only way I can imagine myself living right now.

The thought of landing there, thinking in pesos once again, hearing words like “che” and “vos” and “que se yo” floating past my ears as I try to understand and communicate with people, the prospect of venturing a little bit out of the city to see what there is to see, the thought of getting to know the barrio I’ll be “living” in, having a favorite cafe once again, the thought of just going and being… makes my heart flutter and my tummy tickle. I am so alive.