Why is it that younger dancers in Buenos Aires don’t invite me to dance very much? They have no problem asking my friend, who is almost my same age, quite slender, a little more casual in dress, and I think younger looking. But they seem to avoid me like the plague. Not all of them, of course - but it does seem to be a trend. I also notice that the men I dance with are usually older than I am. Sometimes just 5 years older, sometimes a few decades older. Men.
So what are the young guys afraid of? Am I too milonguera for them? Too dressed up? Too curvy? Can they not handle a woman? Or maybe they just haven’t really thought to invite me. Who knows.
I never really have problems getting dances at milongas so I don’t necessarily feel pain at not dancing with the younger guys, but I do find it very interesting in general and I wanted to put it out there to see what you all might have to say.
I can’t change who I am, I’ll always stand tall and my body will always be the way it is, and I’ll always wear make-up and dress up for Tango. It’s what I like to do. And I celebrate the fact that men with life experience and lots of stories enjoy having me in their arms.



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5 users responded in this post
My two cents — I think your confidence and beauty intimidate these younger leaders.
It’s their loss not to invite you; you did not miss anything.
Who cares? Their loss not yours.
Tina, you can NEVER really know why anyone does anything. I am MUCH older than you and when I was in BA, I had the opposite situation: Most notably, one afternoon at El Beso, Oscar’s son was there with some older milongueros and he invited me to dance. He was then in his very late teens or early 20s, We clicked AWESOMELY. We danced about 7 tandas throughout the evening

Otherwise, I generally skimmed past the younger cabeceos on the lookout for those from the older gents
Johanna! Lucky you - I was watching Oscar’s son the other night. I would love to dance with him, he looks wonderful! I’ll have to catch his eye next time.
i like how oscar’s son dances too - i saw him quite a bit at Nino Bien - some people may say he’s got bad posture (leaning far forward) but that’s the kind of embrace I like - that meeting halfway.
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